Family Time

As a pastor, one of the things I have never adjusted to is having a "work week" different from my family. While they've got this Monday through Friday thing going, I'm putting on my game face on weekends. Even though I have Saturdays off, in the back of my mind, I'm steeling myself for the event called worship on Sundays. At one point in my ministry, I was even holding a Saturday night service, which really messed with my psyche!

I really started to see things differently when I read Randy Frazee's book, Making Room for Life. He really nails the complexities of 21st century life and how we have managed to live in multiple separate worlds - work, family, neighborhood, friends, school, sports, children's activities . . . so that we end up knowing the names of a lot of people but know few or none well. He also goes on to talk about the stressors on families that pull them into these separate worlds and how this great need to keep on with the Jones - "I have to get Johnie onto the three year old traveling soccer team or he won't have a shot in high school." - also conspires to pull us apart. It's a good book - but challenging too.

Now as my kids are on the short side of growing up, Michelle and I have tried hard to hold our family together, making time for one another (sometimes to the kids' chagrin). The dinner table is important. With evening meetings - another pastoral responsibility, we try our darndest to at least have that daily half hour together. (Rachel, as our designated vegetarian, even joins us and nibbles around the edges.) I feel this hole in my gut when someone is not at the dinner table. And it feels like time is speeding up as I watch them progress through high school and into college - these meal times will be coming to an end some day. In my soul, I am cherishing every moment - yeah even when the conversation isn't . . . well you know . . .

So imagine my consternation when the one semi-family day (Saturday) is invaded by scheduling beyond our control. (okay - here comes the rant.) Both Daniel and Becca earned parts in Patterson Mill's upcoming production of Into the Woods. Hooray! . . . Until I got the rehearsal schedule and see that Saturdays are not sacred NOR are school holidays - rehearsals and practices everyday for two and a half months - except Sundays - my "work day!" No time for family on long weekends!?! And I begin to fume over this injustice, and wrestle with priorities, and wondering if families who are not intentional about spending time together have a chance. Fume with me, won't you?

As I get ready to get really busy with this church plant (already am), I also wonder how this will impact our family time. Can we combine some of Randy Frazee's circles so that family time and friend time and church time can be one time? Getting to start from scratch, means we ought to be intentional about these things. If there have to be evening meetings, then move out of the fluorescent lighted metal chair conference room at the church and into a living room, or around the dinner table or at a comfortable coffee shop. . . . enjoy the time with friends.

And one other intentional key to this church plant thing. I can't be the only leader/pastor. I've read Ephesians 4:11-12 enough to realize that Paul is stating the obvious, and that along the way we've lost it - that the Church has multiple leaders with a variety of spiritual gifts in order to build up and equip the Body of Christ. This solo pastor thing is an anomaly! (And its killing a lot of good pastors and weakening a lot of good churches.) I simply know this - God has not deposited all the spiritual gifts, let alone the leadership gifts in me. And if I try to wear all these hats, I will flame out. So I am thankful for the ragtag group of servant-leaders who will accompany me on this quest. And I am grateful that we feel called to share ministry together.

So here's to sanity - to shared ministry and to family time and friend time. I'm gonna guard that precious gift and going to "strongly encourage" our leaders and faith community to do the same.