A Wedding When God Is Present

I found this incredible photo story from a few years ago. It was a wedding planned for a beach on the Chesapeake but rain drove us into a pavilion set back from the water. Still, it was one of the most intimate glorious weddings I've ever been involved in. The photographer captured the solemnity and the joy.

Mark and Rachel

(the link will ask you to download)

I don't know what to make of it, but God has shown up in some pretty incredible places that are not church buildings (and God's also shown up in some pretty incredible churches.)  I guess what it comes down to is people hungry to honor God with their lives - doesn't matter where.  Jesus corrected a woman at a well who wanted to know what place God showed up and Jesus said, “Believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem.  . . . But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way."  Guess the "where" isn't as important as the "who" (and "who" is plural - relationship with God and others in worship).

 

(And if you need a photographer for your wedding, we'll the pictures speak for themselves . . .)

Adoption

November is National Adoption Month so it's appropriate that I share about the journey that brought Laz to become my son. It's not a short story so pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee . . .

I don't remember the date, but I do remember the message that I shared at my last church - St. Paul's (now First Saints). We were preparing to start a new contemporary worship service and my message that morning was "More Than Enough Love to Go Around." I was speaking to the wonder as parents that you can love your second or third child just as much as you love the first. I was connecting this parenting truth to the knowledge that God's infinite love was great enough to love all adopted into His family - and that, as a church, adding this third worship service was an extension of God's love to our community. But at the end of the message, I threw one more curveball - that I sensed God calling Michelle and I to extend that love and grow our family - to adopt another child.

I looked at Michelle, her jaw dropped! We had briefly talked of adopting but nothing concrete - somehow the words came from my mouth and I couldn't take them back. But Michelle and I did talk, and those words uttered in community - faith community - became prophetic and a call on our lives. The Holy Spirit confirmed this call in both of us. We also sensed God calling us to adopt a boy, that he be younger than our youngest, Daniel, and that God was calling us to become an inter-racial family - our boy would be African or African-American.

We involved our children in this call. It seemed the Holy Spirit had already been at work in them. "Can he be a boy?" and then the most amazing request - "Can he be black?" More jaw dropping.

In the midst of life and ministry, the call never went away, but moved to the back burner. We were appointed to Bel Air in 2008 and the call soon returned to the forefront. Our good friends, part of our core team, Tony and Kathy Pitrat, had adopted a beautiful little girl from China, Grace, and were part of the church's adoption support group. Also in that group were Jen and Steve Barry. Michelle was sitting in the sanctuary when their new son, Nicholas, from Ethiopia, was baptized. Michelle sat crying as God reawakened our call to adopt.

At the same time, Michelle began subbing at William Paca Elementary, a predominately African-American Title 1 school. Her heart broke at teaching so many children hungering for love. We began to pray seeking guidance. Kathy became our counselor as she worked at The ARC and had experience in Foster Care to adoption as well as her own story with Grace.

But there is another storyline that adds to Laz's adoption - in our first year at Bel Air, we began exploring a house church model with the people who were part of our Off-Site Ministry. This brought us to worship one evening with a house church in Parkville, MD called Burning Heart. John Baylor, the pastor, had just returned from Uganda and was sharing of his experience. At then end of the evening, John invited us to go on their next mission. We were intrigued with Uganda and the idea of visiting. (Michelle and I had become friends in 1998 with a Ugandan pastor we met in Kentucky and in turn that relationship led us to sponsor a little girl from Uganda - Babra - through Compassion International.)

So God was at work on so many fronts - but we had one question - foster adoption or international adoption? While Michelle was praying one day she heard one word - "wait." We wondered why wait, because adoption in Uganda was non-existent as far as we were concerned - perhaps it was a call to see if we were to adopt from another African country? So to make it clear, we went to Uganda with the intent of meeting the young men - former child soldiers that John had told us about, to witness the miracles that he shared of, and to meet our sponsored child - Babra, but not to adopt.

But God had other ideas. In May of 2009, on the second leg of our mission/fact finding trip in Uganda, in MBale, we met Joe - Lazarus Ojoo. He shared his story of being orphaned and life on the streets, of rescue from a child labor orphanage and his current placement in ABU (the organization that was guiding our trip).

The next morning, as Michelle and I were walking to church, I asked Michelle, "Who was that young boy who shared last night?" She said, "You mean Joe?" I said, "Yes, the youngest one . . . we could take him home." Michelle's jaw dropped. She excitedly shared how God had awakened her in the middle of the night with two words - adoption and Joe. We sensed a confirmation from God but had no idea how since we were sure that adoption was not possible from Uganda (you would have to live in the country for three years as guardians to pursue adoption).

As we began to share our story with our mission group, one of the couples shared that they had friends who were adopting a child from Uganda. But no one was attempting to adopt a teenager. We asked for a blessing from the director of ABU to pursue adoption not having any idea where to begin or end.

When we returned home, Michelle's mother found a webblog of a couple, who were adopting from Uganda. The website led to guidance and several phone calls and soon we realized that it was very possible to bring Joe home. All along, we kept in contact with Laz (from Joe to Laz? another day) through email. In one email he shared about dreaming of being in a deep dark pit and looking up and seeing Michelle at the top. This was before we dared tell him of what we intended to do.

We went through the process of home study through the summer and fall of 2009, contacted our lawyer in Uganda and waited for the call to fly over to finalize the court process. We decided that Michelle would fly over alone to finalize the adoption since I couldn't leave my church work - it would take a minimum of three weeks if everything went smoothly. Our Ugandan adoption counselors pointed us to a travel agency that specialized in international adoptions. What an adventure for my wife who had never had any desire to visit Africa and now was going alone!

We received the call from our lawyer at the end of January that our court date was eminent so Michelle flew over and . . . waited. I'll save the Ugandan part of the story for another blog (or Michelle can write of her adventure), but in summary, our government decided to change the requirements for obtaining visas just as Michelle was flying over and three weeks became five months! We were Laz's legal guardians but could not obtain his visa, because the American Embassy was looking for specific language that our ruling did not contain. Five months living on a shoe-string budget, staying in hotels that most of us would not consider one star, eating the local food, using the local transportation. (You can stay in Uganda in resort style settings, but this wasn't in our realm.) Through all this, Michelle and I remained steadfast - both of us single parents. God called - that sustained us. That and the church's support and prayers of our friends were such a blessing. The love offering of BAUMC came at an opportune moment. (We still have so many to thank.) Skype and facebook became a lifeline.

In July, with pressure from some very dear advocates in Washington, the embassy finally granted Laz's visa and Michelle and Laz flew home. Here's a "first person" video of our reunion.

Now four month's later, on November 3, FINALLY, the call has begun. Judge Whitfill helped us celebrate the year and a half process to bring Laz home. Folk in adoption circles call this "Gotcha Day" and is celebrated just like birthdays.

We now have four children. The adventure now really begins. We are still learning, blending, trying to figure out how to be family. The money's a little tighter, the schedule a little crazier, the house a little smaller, but the joy is greater.

There are an estimated 143 million orphans in the world today - a humanitarian crisis. That is enough children to go three times around the world at the equator.

James wrote, "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." (James 1:27)

Don't easily dismiss the idea that God may be calling to to make a difference - whether through adoption or through sponsoring a child. You can make a difference. The cost to adopt is not insignificant, but the government is giving significant tax breaks (not just deductions) to bless those who are adopting. Foster care to adoption is a much less costly. But you can never place a cost on the blessings received. Where God calls, He also provides. The rewards are great. You can do it!

Thanks everyone who helped us fulfill God's call. God is smiling and so are we.

Transformation - Day 16

"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful." - Colossians 3:12-15

What a rich image - God chose you to be the holy people he loves.

You are chosen.

You are set apart (holy) for God's use.

You are loved.

If you can embrace this identity, your life will be changed.  It speaks to both God's grace in his choosing and loving you, but also his call to not leave you in sin, but to clean you up (yesterday), make you pure and holy.

It's our relationship with Jesus Christ that provides the impetus to change.

You are chosen, holy, loved.

And since YOU ARE, clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

(Be like Jesus)

Recognize that no one is perfect so stop expecting perfection.

Forgive, not ignore, those who offend you.  Be proactive in the grace department.

Jesus forgave you.  Remember the prayer that Jesus taught you - "Forgive our sins as we forgive those who sin against us."  Remember Jesus said that you can't find forgiveness unless you forgive others.  Remember he told Peter "seventy times seven" when Peter asked how many times to forgive.  GET THIS!

And Paul sums it all up - clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 

All you need is love . . . But not wishy, fluffy emotional love.   This is not a Kumbaya love fest.  This is love as a verb - love in action - serving, feeding, doing the tough work of investing in others, putting the interests of others above you own (THIS is NOT easy).

Time to get a VW van, buy some tie-dye tshirts . . . .?

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. 

Oh and by the way, always be thankful.

So where does God want you to start? Don't loss over this question.  Remember to replace a bad habit with a good one.  Learn to delight in making others better, in giving the compliment, holding the door, saying thank you and please, being a good listener, playing with the kids on the floor . . .

The Beatles can sing about IT, but remember where love comes from and that it's a VERB.

Transformation - Day 8

"I want you to know how much I have agonized for you and for the church at Laodicea, and for many other believers who have never met me personally. I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God’s mysterious plan, which is Christ himself. In him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

I am telling you this so no one will deceive you with well-crafted arguments. For though I am far away from you, my heart is with you. And I rejoice that you are living as you should and that your faith in Christ is strong." - Colossians 2:1-5

Paul's pastoral heart rises up again - love for people he has never met.  How is that possible?

His desire? that they "be encouraged" that they be "knit together by strong ties of love."  I've heard people say, you don't need church or community to be a Christian.  How far from the truth!  21st century American independence and individualism has invaded the thought life of believers.  God designed Christians for community and community for Christians.  We need one another - the grace that community provides.  Transformation will happen at a snail's pace without Christian community.  "Blest be the tie that binds, our hearts in Christian love."  I pray that the people of The Vine will develop this kind of love for one another.

Paul also wants them to have complete confidence in understanding "God's mysterious plan" - the Gospel.  Paul knows that people will come to test and deceive.  Some will try to pull them back into Judaistic legalism, others into licentiousness - sin more so that grace may increase.

There are many "well crafted arguments" in our day and age. I mentioned one at the beginning of this meditation - God loves everyone so all roads lead to God.

Know what you believe and why.  Stand strong.  Don't turn off your brain but use the gifts that God has given you to stand strong.

Transformation - Day 2

"We always pray for you, and we give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people, which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News." - Colossians 1:3-5

I don't know why Paul gets under some people's skin - his "ego" or personality just rub some folk wrong. But I read a passage like the above and see someone deeply connected to, praying for, and encouraging others. Most scholars believe that Epaphras, not Paul, started the church in Colosse, but you would never know it from the warmth and pastoral quality of this letter.

I also love the word "we" here. I don't want us to overlook that in the early church, leadership was not a solo act but a shared calling. I wonder if the struggles we face in the modern church from burnout to sexual misconduct can be traced back to mission and ministry leadership not being shared. The longevity of Billy Graham's ministry and his pact with fellow team members speaks to this.

I am also humbled by Paul's acknowledgment that "we always pray for you." I don't think this was hyperbole. Paul and Timothy prayed - a lot. Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 wrote "pray without ceasing" and backed it up by saying this is God's will.

I need to do a better job of praying for you. I can get so busy with life and ministry that I neglect the most essential activity - prayer. My best friend from seminary committed to praying Ephesians 3:14-19 everyday for the people in his church. It's a rich beautiful prayer and I feel the tug to pray it for you as well. Are there other ways I can pray for you - especially when it comes to spiritual transformation? - the heart of these blogs for the next 21 days. Comment below or send me a personal note.

Finally, look at what Paul commends these Colossian followers for: 1) faith in Christ 2) love for God's people and 3) hope for eternity. Sometimes we make things so complicated with ministry plans and smart goals. What if we could simply be a church that trusted Christ and loved everybody (not easy), motivated by a hope for a better reward? (These three remain - faith, hope, love; but the greatest of these is love - where have I heard that before?) And don't gloss over the motivation - eternity with Christ in heaven. I've heard people say that you can be so heavenly-minded that you are no earthly good. I've said it. But here Paul makes it clear that a strong hope for heaven motivates our faith in Christ and our love for others. Eternity fuels us. After all, how can we love if God doesn't first love us, fueling our love with the free gift of eternal life?

Love hard.  Pray hard.  We have hope for a better future. Life is short. make it count. Be transformed. Show someone God's love today. Let us pray . . .

What's with the earring?

Many, many years ago, when serving as a youth director at Chalfont United Methodist Church, our group learned a song by Steve Croft called "Pierce My Ear."  It was a pretty sappy song now that I look back on it but the message was important.  In Exodus 21, God set parameters for voluntary slavery among the Hebrew people (this culture issue is for another day).  You can read about it here.  In this text, a Hebrew slave about to be set free could choose to enter into lifetime slavery by having an awl driven through his earlobe - in essence nailing him to the door!  Later, in the New Testament, Paul used language that speaks of his status as a "servant of Jesus Christ." (The word - doulos - in the Greek is closer to slave than servant.)

I began to join these two images together - ear piercing and slave for Christ - even hosting a youth-led worship service on these texts.

So . . .  long before it was popular to have piercings and tattoos, I sensed this call to have my ear pierced as an acknowledgment that I was God's servant for life.  I wanted to tangibly show how much I loved Christ - he was pierced so that i could be set free from sin and death - I owed him my life.  But I waited. . .

Finally, several years after the youth group thing and at the culmination of an amazing year in a project called The Beeson Pastoral Leadership and Biblical Preaching program (another story), I did it.  In a nondescript kiosk at the local mall in Kentucky, with Michelle at my side, I marked my allegiance to God by having my ear pierced.  We picked out a cross earring to replace the stud and I have been wearing a cross ever since.  Yea, not as dramatic as having an awl driven through my ear, but it works. (One woman in my last church shared that she had a dream of my ear being pierced and in that moment a blinding flash of light emanated from my ear - pretty cool if you ask me)

So now you know.  The cross earring is not a fashion statement but a faith statement.  I am a "doulos" of Jesus Christ.  I love him because he first loved me and gave himself up as a sacrifice on my behalf and as a ransom for many.  What's your faith statement?

(Now I'm trying to figure out what tattoo I should get - because - God's not done with me yet.)